It's a new college football season, and you know what that means? The annual re-hashing by SEC and PAC-10 fans over which conference is better! Of course, we'll have SEC fans claiming that the PAC-10 is a bunch of finesse fantsy-pants too weak to play defense, and the PAC-10 fans will accuse SEC teams of being a bunch of slow thugs who think the team with the bigger stadium deserves to win.

Well, without further ado, below is the latest analysis of the SEC vs. PAC-10 written by some guy at SportingNews. Let's throw some more fuel on the fire!

Don't know what to watch the first week of college football? No worries, TCQB has got you covered! All the games that really matter are below.

#1) Michigan State @ California Definitely a statement game for the Bears, who made fans everywhere hate them for loving them by losing 6 of their last 8 games to end their 2007 campaign. No Joe-Nobody North Eastern Where-the-Fuck University for the Golden Bears. They start their 2008 season with a quality opponent in Michigan State. Expect a hard fought game from both sides, and for super-frosh sensation Jahvid Best to take flight.

TCQB Prediction: California 31, Michigan State 17

We're not one to judge what teammates do with (to?) each other, and frankly it's nobody's business. Until I hear about it and post it on TCQB for everybody to read, then it's everybody's business!

Here's a feel good player-interest piece on Cal WR Nyan Boateng, talking about the adversity and hardships he's faced to get to where he is now. Also, he makes some scandalous revelations.

If you were getting shitfaced in downtown Lincoln last week and you thought you saw new Nebraska head coach Bo Pelini, you probably did! He was seen at several bars around Thursday and Friday nights. Of course, the Nebraskan spin machine went into full effect and Pelini was just there to make sure players were following the "no bars" rule he recently set.

Uh huh. I'm sure that was exactly the case. Especially considering how Pelini has never been photographed drunk, wandering the streets of the French Quarter at 3am before.

Oh wait, he has!

This is probably one of those times when somebody tries to say something funny, but all that happens is an extended moment of awkward silence. Tommy Bowden, head coach of the Clemson Tigers, was asked to discuss the status of several players, and of freshman Kyle Parker, had this to say:

Virginia freshman (pothead?) linebacker J'Courtney Williams faces charges of credit card theft and credit card fraud, according to university police. Apparently Williams was so desperate for cash that he swiped another student's wallet from the Aquatics and Fitness Center.

The sad part is that all this could have been avoided. If Williams really needed money that badly he could have just played for USC. Zing!!

Tennessee and UCLA have agreed to move their game to September 1st, Labor Day, in order to be the only uncontested nationally televised college football game on ESPN that night.

"The opportunity to play unopposed on national television against such a quality opponent as UCLA was something we couldn't pass up," Tennessee athletics director Mike Hamilton said. "It's a great time slot for a national game of interest like this one."

What Mike Hamilton really means though is: "Yes! Given how UCLA has both a brand new head coach and offensive coordinator with new systems that need to be learned and practiced, and how their under-achieving senior-laden team from last year who couldn't even beat Notre Dame will be comprised of mostly inexperienced underclassmen in 2008, sure! We would LOVE to play our more experienced and veteran players against the Bruins unopposed on national television instead of pathetic regional television so everybody can see us make UCLA our bitches and think that we are so awesome a national game of interest!"

Lets face it. UCLA is in for a rebuilding year next season and they're going to suck. This deal is a sweetheart one for Tennessee because, despite UCLA going to suck, the UCLA brand still has value, and will let the Vols start their 2008 national championship campaign on a good note.

Have you seen Ryan Perrilloux? Where did he go? If I had to guess, I'd say he's probably sitting in a casino telling slot machines about his future as a sixty-million-dollar man. Ryan Perrilloux once again failed to show up to practice, meaning that after he was in Les Mile's doghouse, and then got out of it, he did exactly what he needed to do to get back in. Nice!

Again, no worries though. This is the SEC we're talking about, so LSU will be handling this whole situation internally and we'll see Perrilloux suited up and starting against Appalachian St. come August.

USC students "cleverly" "released" an Associated Press article claiming that Ohio State was canceling their game with USC this coming season, citing a desire not to risk the chance of ruining a perfect season. Text of the "press release" is below:

Note: Since posting this I've confirmed that this was, in fact, an April Fool's day joke by the blog's owner which I completely fell for. Guess I'm the one who got owned today. It's a good thing I not only have no pride, but no shame either, or else I'd take this post down completely out of embarrassment as a legitimate journalist. April Fools! There's no such thing as a legitimate journalist! Hahahaha!

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Only a rivalry in which each school harbors an extraordinarily high level of both brilliance and virginity could a new category of rivalry pranks be invented. Stanford nerds took it upon themselves to hack into a popular Cal sports blog and use it as a platform to, you guessed it, say that Stanford rules and Cal sucks. Didn't see that one coming!